YoLadies | Arts, Life, Style

Does Pink Stink?

2011-04-11T14:50:53Z

This is a guest post by the lovely feminist fashion blogger Mrs. Bossa and was originally published here. Check out her blog for more greatness!

By Mrs. Bossa

Chances are you thought of some positive and decidedly feminine words (and if you didn't, then kudos - I want to hear from you!) Pink is the colour of lipsticks, of Barbie's car (and house, and the myriad other material possessions that she's acquired through life). Pink roses are a gentler romantic gesture than bold red, the colour of lust and love and passion.

It is now almost impossible to enter a toy store without immediately being aware of 'girl toys' and 'boy toys', conveniently colour-coded; some stores boast an entire floor dedicated to the toys a girl might want, dumbed down...and in pink.

What's the problem with that? Well let's look a little closer.

The Pink Stinks campaign, established by two mothers who were horrified by the 'pinkification' of culture, aims to tackle the gender division affecting children. They argue that the gender-colour equation adds up to lower self-esteem in girls, as the incessant focus on princess dresses and babies and make-up affects young girls' aspirations. I looked on a well-known UK retailer's website, and the top 10 girls' toys included a Rapunzel costume, a dolls house, a bead-making set, and my personal favourite: a pushchair. Mainly in pink, might I add, with the odd splash of purple. The boys top 10 - and this will come as no surprise - included several guns, battle figures and cars. Try finding a firefighter fancy dress costume aimed at girls, or one that isn't a 50s nurse or a fairy. Now this trend may be older than me, but seriously: what message is this giving kids? I tell you what message: an outdated one.

Now a person may well argue that there is no harm in children showing a preference for a colour, and I agree with that in principle. But I plain refuse to believe that we are biologically pre-determined to like a colour to this degree. And, for me, the clincher is this: many boys with some level of cultural awareness refuse to wear pink. It has connotations of 'girliness', and that has to be avoided at all costs. Don't get me wrong: I'm not a particular fan of 'girly pink' either. But then, when I cast my mind back, I realised that I was never bombarded with pink accessories. This was definitely in part due to my mother, who, I remember, refused to buy me a toy kitchen, but the fact is there just wasn't the plethora of pink there is today. It's like we're going backwards.

Some hysterical British news reporters claimed that Pink Stinks was trying to 'ban pink', but this ain't the case. They have a problem with the connotations. Their site aims to focus instead on positive female role models who are known for their passions and achievements rather than their beauty or breast size, and they believe that by shifting the focus from 'princess' and 'soldier', toy and clothing companies have the opportunity to feed children the dreams they deserve, wearing whatever colours they choose.

And me? I actually love a bit of pink. I even have a fabulous pair of pink shoes...but the difference is, I'm old enough to know I can still change the world while I'm wearing them.

Models, the modelling industry, and the potential transformative power of it all

2011-04-04T15:35:19Z

This was originally published at Oranges and Apples - please visit Franca for more thoughtful fashion and feminism!

by Franca Eirich

I love anything to do with models. I will watch any old reality TV show if it has models in it, I used to be majorly addicted to America's/Britain's/Germany's Next Top Model so much! I dislike the manipulative editing that makes it seem as if everyone is constantly bitching or fighting or crying, but I will watch it anyway. What I like best is the bits when they are working, particularly the photoshoots.

Lately, I've been watching Channel 4's The Model Agency. It's more about the agents than the models, and the majority of it isn't very interesting, watching office politics in a place run by a boss straight out of the management-techniques-to-avoid textbook. But I like watching it because of the glimpses into the model's lives.

Unfortunately, the things I have found out about professional modelling are not so encouraging. Here's just a few things I remember off the top of my head:

Clients demand models with 31 inch hips. Which is basically not physically possible. Which is what one of the model booker was explaining, when she made an interesting Freudian slip. After explaining that even her slimmest editorial girls with not an ounce of fat on them have 36 inch hips she said 'You can't shave bits off their bones. You wouldn't even want to ask'. You heard it here first - bone shaving, the next big thing in cosmetic survery!

Models don't get paid for Vogue covers. Editorial models basically work for not that much at all in the hope of getting their face recognised hope so that eventually they will pick up one of the big advertising contracts. But obviously there aren't that many of them and 60% of them seem to be taken by Kate Moss anyway.

'Money girls' eat, 'showgirls' don't. One model explained that she mainly did catalogue work rather than high fashion editorial stuff, so that she 'could eat'.

Boys need to eat, girls don't. Male model is having a major freakout over his stomach not being rippled enough and explains that he's not eaten any carbs in ages. Agent goes 'That's not healthy. You have to eat, you're a boy.'

Fainting is not an excuse. Model flies over from New York on overnight flight arriving 5am, goes straight into working day with 5 fittings and 4 shows. Has nothing to eat all day. Faints. Model agency boss lady goes 'I don't understand why she's so tired. This is only her first day out of timezone.' Then the next day everyone makes a massive song and dance about the fact that they are getting her a sandwich. Because that is really pushing the boat out in terms of looking after the people you represent.

What all of this really brought home to me is how profoundly unglamorous the life of a professional model is. It's basically all indeterminate amounts of waiting, short bursts of frenzied activity, minimal sleep and minimal food. Being alone or shoved in with random strangers. Sexual abuse being common. Agents only looking out for you if it threatens business. And so many of these girls (and boys) are aged 15-16, an age where most people already lack confidence anyway, without being isolated, starved and judged by powerful strangers.

There's no denying that modelling pays well, and I'm sure there are models out there who are able to get exactly what they want, and are happy with everything about their job, but it seems that overall, the models are pretty low down the fashion industry food chain. It's a shame that something like Erin O'Connor's Model Sanctuary is even needed, but it is.

I wish modelling was just treated as a job with pros and cons like any other, but I just find it so weird that it's this thing that so many young girls aspire to to the extent that they will completely screw their life chances in other areas such as education to pursue it. I can understand why it appears glitzy, since models are the public face of the fashion industry, the most visible jobs there are in it, and the ones that don't need any formal qualifications, but surely everyone *knows* that it wouldn't be much fun in practice, that the chances of success are slim (no pun intended!) and that even if you do 'make it', it's only going to last a few years anyway?

On the flipside of that, I've written a bit in the past about using 'real', non-model models, (I won't go into that here now) and researching those posts, I was struck by how much of the vitriol that bloggers were dishing out when writing about size zero and diversity in fashion was aimed at the models themselves, who surely are just as much victims of the fashion industry's twisted standards of beauty as the 'normal' women who are made to feel inadequate by them.

It seems models are always talked about as heroes or villains, hardly ever as people.

So why then am I so interested in all things modelling? I'm not even into high fashion that much, and my fascination definitely goes beyond the clothes.

The best I can explain it is that I love is the transformation: in ANTM, on the film camera's you see a studio or an outside location with millions of people wandering about, clothes strewn everywhere and the model looking nervous and awkward, the photographer spouting incomprehensible directions or bland encouragements. It's all pretty mundane and not so nice. But then you see the photo coming out at the end, and it's like magic. A whole aspirational world is created. I *know* that that model is the same awkward and nervous teenager I saw on film, but here she is looking a strong and beautiful woman.

Another thing that struck me about the Model Agency programme was that none of the editorial models actually looked conventionally pretty. They mainly looked fragile and knackered. Many look androgynous and angular. If I had passed any of them in the street, I would never have thought 'oh, she/he's stunning'. I probably wouldn't even have noticed most of them. But when I look at the pictures of them, I get it. They do look stunning.

And somehow I take heart from the fact that gawky teenager with thin short hair can end up as internationally renowned symbol of beauty. Somehow despite the fashion industry and it's obsession with unattainable thinness, I think it opens the doors for the possibility of a more diverse definition of beauty. It recognises that beauty is a matter of stand point, of expectations, a creation, not a natural status.

It seems I am an optimist at heart after all!

What do you think? Anyone share my obsession with models?

Photos via here.

Body Policing

2011-03-29T04:49:17Z

This article, by the fabulous Feminist Fashion Blogger, Eleanor Snare, was originally published on her blog, The Magic Square Foundation. Please visit her for more!

By Eleanor Snare

external policing
Extreme images of feminity in the media, specifically those in advertising or consumption industries, present a perhaps idealised, perhaps violently distorted, image of the female body (including hair, lack of hair, face etc - general physical form). Digital editing and 'airbrushing' help to remove flaws and apparent problems with female bodies, often with bizarre effects: some images are immediately identifiable as being digitally 'enhanced', others more subtly and insidiously so. This is a form of body policing, the recognition of an ideal form - a 'law' of beauty - that should be adhered to either completely or as closely as possible. Those outside the 'law' are reformed through digital technologies and image manipulation.

But this is a very simple and possibly reductive example. The body policing is undertaken by a specific group - the manufacturers of products - in order to 'appeal' to another specific group - the consumers - by allying their product with the 'law' of beauty. But when we begin to think about policing that happens almost automatically, policing that does not need external forces to enact it but in fact comes from within, then things begin to grow in complexity.

Within this subject there is so much to talk about and this post can only really scratch the surface, and even then in a very loose and superficial way. Therefore, I want to concentrate on body policing specifically in fashion trends and individual clothing choices; the movement of body policing from an individual onto others; and the role of body policing in the constitution of 'a feminist'.

individual and trend body policing
To start, the use of body policing in fashion trends and individual clothing choices. Bearing in mind that external body policing - that which is proliferated by media forms and cultural sensibilities - is always hanging over our heads, body policing can also manifest itself as an internally generated mechanism. Maybe reacting to social anxieties, pressures, health concerns, idealisations, aspirations, and all the rest, women frequently police our own bodies by identifying our adherence with or transgression of a specific, individualistic form. We will pinpoint that which we dislike most about our bodies - our thighs, breasts, etc - and consistently police the way it appears to us in the mirror. Fashion trends, and the discourse surrounding fashion trends (like how to 'disguise' certain undesirable parts of one's body), continue this policing and effectively manipulate the beauty 'laws' to their own end. For example, summer fashion trends that locate themselves around full length, strapless dresses also locate themselves around a specific beauty 'law' to fulfill this trend most successfully: probably tall (in the legs), fairly slim and with small breasts in order for the dress to fall and fit 'properly'. When we take part in this trend, not only do we police our own bodies in accordance with specific, individual sets of 'laws', but also in their adherence to the external trend 'law' of how slim we are, how long our legs are, how small our breasts are. And if it doesn't work, we rip it up and start again.

Fashion trends constantly produce new 'laws' around which policing strategies form, new ideals around which we can manipulate our internal body policing. Bandage and harness dresses, aside from their dubious connotations of repression, slavery and bondage, police the body very effectively by allowing only a specific form to fit into their very specific and very restricted form. Tight elastic, spandex and little-stretch jersey physically limit who can wear what by their very material nature. This is not to say that the fashion industry only produces items in one size, but the style and trend of the garment does have a huge effect on types of body policing that take place within a certain social time frame. So, if we desire to be fashionable, we begin to police our bodies according to rapidly changing and mutating fashion trend 'laws'; and then we simultaneously police our bodies according to individual, most likely socially encouraged and constructed, specific 'laws' of our own making.

transmission of body policing
It would seem only natural, then, that the body policing we encounter internally and through individual choices seems to transmit, despite choices not to allow it, onto others. Judging others by clothing and by outside appearance is superficial and yet is inherently human: we privilege vision above all senses, modern capitalist societies cater to this privilege, and we conduct huge swathes of our existence through visual stimulus in whatever sense. So body policing of others does enter into day to day human relationships, whether we wish it to or not, whether we try and actively deter it - as many of us do - or not. The body policing tactics we enforce upon our own bodies will often manifest themselves in our policing of others. If we are modest and generally wear clothes that conceal our flesh and specifically apparent 'erogenous' zones, we will police and pass judgement on those other individuals that prefer to do the opposite. This policing is compounded in certain cultural situations, posited on things as diverse as geography, sexuality, music taste, or eating habits, and again in group instances where there is a significant difference in the body policing 'laws' of different groups. When we say 'I wouldn't go out dressed like that', we are bringing into play, consciously or unconsciously, a vast range of complex physical, ethical, sexual, geographical, political and social forms of body policing tactics.

You can see that the policing of other women's bodies is not only incredibly complex, but in many ways almost inherent in the social system we live in. As we ourselves are policed by external forces - like media discourses and consumption industries, fashion trends or magazines - and then internalise that policing into specific and individual 'problems' we find with our own body, so this whole mechanism is externalised yet again as we draw judgement over others. We are both the policewoman and the victim of the law, re-enacting these roles over and over again.

body policing and feminism
So if we're at this point, where does the difficult understanding of the relation between feminism and body policing come in? Valuable points in the forum discussions were made about trying to avoid body policing, avoiding dictatorial understandings of the constitution of 'a feminist'. A friend of mine pointed out recently that one of the reasons she was so averse to labelling herself as a feminist was because of the implications of body policing in the feminist tradition. In her experience, being a feminist meant wearing trousers and no makeup, short hair and no heels. I would happily put forward that while the feminist movement has released itself from these bonds, the populist conception of feminism still centres on this imagery, especially the 'anti-feminist' polemics. Releasing itself from these bonds - 'this is what a feminist looks like' - means the movement takes on a wider and more diverse range of individuals. But it does play merry havoc with understandings of relations between feminism, power, sexuality, the body and clothing. Difficult and sometimes unanswerable questions arise.

If I wear short skirts, am I a feminist? If I wear makeup, am I a feminist? If I wear restricting but 'sexy' underwear for the mutual benefit of myself and my partner, am I a feminist? If I worry about young women wearing see through tops or hot pants, am I a feminist? If I enjoy bondage, am I a feminist? If I like wearing heels, am I a feminist? If I am male, and like looking at women with their hair done and makeup on, am I a feminist? If I dress for the gaze of others as well as myself, am I a feminist? And if I am, how do I know?

Feminism can, and should, avoid body policing, but not because it is inherently wrong. Visual reaction and consideration will occur, male or female, in many different forms of culture and society. Feminism should avoid body policing because in policing the bodies of other women, we are only replaying the act of violence that has already been done to ourselves. However, the actions of avoiding it are much more difficult than that neat little statement would have you believe: if body policing occurs internally, individually, how are we to stop it transmitting outside ourselves, onto others and into the understandings of what constitutes a feminist? A good answer would be to change the system; change the social and cultural impetuses that encourage the base level policing and therefore change the entire process. But that's quite hard to do (as we know). It has to come from an individual level, a theoretical level, a material level, a level of both intellect and feeling. The questioning of particular fashion or beauty 'ideals', the understanding of the greater complexities of power and sexuality plays that occur within fashion and surrounding 'the body', the development of individual strength in resisting playing the role of policewoman and victim, the increasing of diversity - and acceptance of diversity - in the feminist movement: these are all things that will aid in resisting the perpetuation of externally-manufactured, internally-reconstituted body policing.

Do you express feminism in what you wear?

2011-03-15T23:19:52Z

This is my contribution to the Feminist Fashion Blogger Project - read our feature article about it!

How do you express your feminism in the way you dress? That's honestly something I've never considered when choosing what to wear. The only looks-based thing about me that I might have considered feminist, before now, is my hair, which in its sheer volume and unruly refusal to behave made me feel a special kinship to Gloria Steinem. But clothes? Never thought of anything in my wardrobe as much more than either the daily geek uniform or the occasional dressy goodness.

After reading through the discussions and blog entries of the FFBs though, and writing about how Siouxsie Sioux's style could be interpreted as having feminist undertones, it gave me plenty to think about as far as whether there might be some kind of hint of feminism in what I wear.

What I've realized is that even though I don't have feminism or any other political motivation going on when I put on clothes in the morning, the stuff that I choose to wear - specifically jeans and comfy pants/leggings, skirts and dresses sans slips or petticoats, and freak-fly-smashed-in-a-clippie hair - I can do that because of feminism. There aren't crazy gender-based rules on what clothing is appropriate, binding dresses aren't required, and helmet hair is a thing of the past. I can wear a skirt with combat boots if I want, or an old-school binding dress, or my usual everyday uniform, jeans, comfy top, a pair of special shoes and some fun accessories.

And, I can do it because of the women before me who did make a feminist statement with their clothes.

So, dear readers, especially during this month of women's history, think about what you might be wearing if the feminist movement hadn't insisted on banishing the clothes of our mothers and grandmothers. Instead of squeezing into a corset or girdle so the cinched waist dress would look just right, or spending hours and entirely too much hairspray on some crazy 'do, you can wear what's comfortable and more indicative of your personality. Of course if corsets and helmet hair are your thing, that can be feminist, too. At least you have the choice.

Debbie Howard films for women

2011-03-07T09:47:32Z

Six years ago, actress Debbie Howard founded Big Buddha Films in Sheffield, South Yorkshire in the UK. Tired of the same old offers to play "a boring twitching old maid, a nagging wife, or the love/sex interest," Debbie decided to make the move, herself, toward making films with a strong female voice. She began writing her own scripts with positive female roles in mind, and now directs documentaries and shorts that have been featured at Cannes Film Festival, London Independent Film Festival, and dozens of others in the U.K., Europe, and North America.

Debbie Howard, Founder,
Big Buddha Films

The subject matter of Debbie's films ranges from documenting children's discovery on the playground and loving the curliest of hair to sexual harrassment and HIV/AIDS. Her current project, Peekaboo, tackles a women's issue that is still not talked about in depth - the pain and emotional hell of miscarriage and stillbirth.

Debbie answered a few questions for us about her company and mission - check out the clips on her site. You'll definitely want to see more!

K: Why do you think it's important to focus on women in your films?
Debbie: Making work with strong roles for women will always be something I want to do, as it's good to redress the balance, and to tell women's stories. A lot of films made are written by men, because a lot of men do the commissioning so they pick stories they relate to. But women make up more than 50% of the human beings on this planet - and we have stories to tell, interesting lives and passion. There are so many amazing women out there, and so many talented performers, I want to make for and about them.

K: What is your favorite project, to date?
Debbie: That's a really hard one. I've enjoyed many of them for different reasons. Definitely Peekaboo, the film I'm just about to shoot has been a massive passion for me and taken a huge part of my life up for the past couple of years. The themes of the film are really important, looking at stillbirth, grief, loss, relationships, taboo's. Not just the taboo of stillbirth, but the taboo that we're not allowed to grieve in the way you need to. It's very exciting to be about to shoot the film, and I'm really delighted to be working such amazing actors as Lesley Sharp and Shaun Dooley. They will bring such power to their roles. And they are tough roles to play.

I also really enjoyed making Bring Me Joy, which was a comedy and great fun to make. And Pussy, which was my latest film, which looked at sexual bullying at school.

K: Do you have a dream project that you'd ultimately like to complete?
Debbie: I guess I do, at the moment it's Peekaboo. As I said it's taken a large part of my heart and soul getting this project off the ground without funding, having to raise all the money independently, fight a lot of battles along the way and just pull it all together. I can't wait to shoot it, and then get cracking on post production with my fantastic editor Neil Fergusson, who has been a total star in helping me with my last three films, again for no money. I can't wait to see it completed and on the screen. But yes, after that, I want to move into features. I'm planning a feature length documentary after Peekaboo is finished, and I'd also like to then look at a feature drama, but keeping my ideas well under wraps for now!

Thanks Debbie! (oh, and I love this!)

Siouxsie Sioux - feminist fashion icon

2011-03-02T06:56:58Z

To a lot of people, fashion and feminism are polar opposites. There is still this notion - even among some feminists - that believing in and fighting for women's rights means you have to denounce all things fashion related and dress as plainly as possible. What a lot of people forget is that fashion and positive changes in women's rights tend to go hand-in-hand. The flapper dress in the 20's, trousers in the 30's and 40's, mini-skirts, blue-jeans, hippie-style - all of it made a statement about the state of women's rights in each era. Sometimes it was called anti-fashion, but I doubt that there really is such a thing. Even those who choose to wear nothing but t-shirts they got for free at a convention and blue-jeans from Wal-Mart are making a fashion statement, even if it just says "I don't give a damn."

The Feminist Fashion Blogger project, started by Franca at Oranges and Apples, is a call to talk about the relationship between fashion and feminism. There is not only the stereotype of the "dowdy feminist" that needs to be smashed, but also a tendency toward judgment by other women about what constitutes "appropriate" fashion that needs to come to an end.

For me, growing up in the late 70's and 80's meant that the fashion choices were either preppy or punk - and anyone who's read this blog for long can guess which way I went. The punk women not only took charge of life with a big "get the fuck out of my way" attitude, but they dressed the part, too. Siouxsie Sioux was my personal icon back then.

Why she's a feminist fashion icon

Siouxsie grew up with a strong, working mother, and stated in an interview that "I never dreamed I would be some little fawning thing." Indeed she wasn't. After a serious illness, she was inspired to reinvent herself, and thanks in part to the rise of the punk movement, the dramatic and somewhat-scary-but-icily-beautiful style she's known for began to evolve.

When asked about her style in the documentary, Punk: Attitude, she said that punk was "...one of the first looks and attitudes to come along to empower women ... I felt so powerful and strong walking out on the street and nothing frightened me." With the social change that was happening during that time, it's no wonder that there was some sort of "body-armor" going on there. Her style wasn't only dramatic - it built her up physically to match the power she felt inside.

Siouxsie could go from bondage inspired wear to boxy man-suit inspired clothing and still convey a powerful feminine vibe. Even in her most androgynous clothing, she never seemed to be pretending to be something she wasn't. She proved that just as there isn't one kind of woman or one kind of feminism, there isn't one kind of feminine look - that changes depending on the woman conveying it.

Today, she still has a fabulously dramatic style going on - gorgeous, colorful, powerful, and feminine. She is still showing us that there isn't some invisible line between being a powerful woman and wearing flattering and beautiful clothing.

Read about Siouxie's contemporary and someone who designed for her - Vivienne Westwood - on Seamstress Stories.

Take as much love as you need

2011-02-16T09:06:25Z

Found via this isn't happiness. Makes me want to recreate it and post several all over town. What a great way to pass along a smile!

Girl-power movies for Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T14:14:07Z

Does Valentine's Day make you see red, as in bloody hell red? Tired of the consumerist pressure to buy, and the cultural pressure to have a mate even if it's only on this one specific day of the year? Are you not looking forward to spending another VD alone and being bombarded with unrealistic visions of romantic love?

Since reservations to anything above McDonald's are out of the question, this is the perfect evening to be a shut-in on the sofa, with a nice helping of delivery food and a movie with woman power. Yes, there are a few out there that won't make you puke - here are five of our faves:

Kick-ass - Although the main character in this movie is a dorky boy who wants to do good, thanks to young Chloe Moretz's character, Hit Girl, it's all about girl power. If you want to laugh and feel some fem pride, this is a great movie for Valentine's Day.

Amelia - who isn't inspired by Amelia Earhart? Hillary Swank does a great job portraying this legendary woman, and not only will you be entertained, you'll find yourself lost in the mystery of what might have been her life after the world lost touch with her, assuming she lived.

The Matrix - if you're more into sci-fi action movies, get into the kick-ass mood by watching Carrie Ann Moss' "Trinity" lord over those less skilled than she in martial arts, gun fights, and more.

9 to 5 - this film from 1980 will get you revved up against sexist pigs. Jane Fonda, Dolly Parton, and Lily Tomlin are hilarious and amazing in this early movie about standing up to the patriarchy and going for it.

Norma Rae - of course, no woman power movie would be complete without mentioning Norma Rae. A classic, and one of the first to validate a woman's right to be treated fairly in the workplace, watch this movie if you're in need of some serious inspiration to get out there and fight the good fight rather than worrying about whether you've got a pink and red box of choco on this February day.

Deeply Rooted: Shantrelle P. Lewis

2011-02-01T03:26:12Z

Written by Kia Chenelle of Quixotic Online.

It's a popular belief that slavery, migration and destruction has caused a scattering of the things that our ancestors once held so precious. Because of these very things, many Black Americans have no idea of their history and culture. That's why people like Shantrelle P. Lewis are relevant and heaven sent. Raised in New Orleans, Ms. Lewis has demonstrated a commitment to researching, documenting and preserving the African Diaspora's culture. A graduate of Howard University, Shantrelle chose to take her love of her culture and earn her Master's degree from Temple University's Department of African American Studies.The granddaughter of New Orleans artist, Charles Lewis and a fourth generation graduate of HBCUs, Ms. Lewis was introduced to the performing and cultural arts of African-Americans by her parents who are collectors themselves. Ms. Lewis' international travels to places such as Cuba, Ghana, Nigeria, Brazil, Jamaica, the Dominican Republic, Haiti, Puerto Rico, Spain and London have allowed her to observe the manifestation of the African aesthetic firsthand...

Read the rest of this article at Quixotic Online.

Minimalism isn't everything

2011-01-25T18:03:29Z

Okay so I actually love minimalism and prefer Scandanavian sleek and simple home decor or Calvin Klein's classic fashion style to Victorian furnishings or Versace. Minimalism is beautiful without attracting unwanted attention, it's comfortable, and it's easy to update. On the web, it can also mean everything to your eye site. On the other hand, there is something about dining in pure opulence that can make one forget about geometry and primary colors - something that those in the Eastern part of the world, in particular, master.

The Blue Room on the 2nd floor of New York's Russian Firebird restaurant.
On a recent trip to New York City, my husband and I were cosmically pulled to the gold and light encrusted facade of the Firebird, on west 46th Street. We were dressed for heavy shopping rather than fine dining, but like the light that leads the dying to the afterlife, Firebird beckoned that we risk being asked to come back after we've made a few million rather than fade away to some Irish pub we were probably overdressed for.
The risk was worth it, as we were warmly greeted and welcomed to follow our calling to "just have a drink and check it out." It was late-ish, but General Manager Nicholas Rotundo led us into the amazing, ornate bar area and told us about the more than 200 vodkas offered there. Of course, we tried several different blends (their special honey infused vodka is a great appertif), and talked with Nicholas and his amazing assistant, Claire, about everything from the Russian culture that inspired the restaurant to life in the entertainment biz. Claire took us on a tour of the first two floors, which are absolutely breath taking with the chandeliers, artwork, and especially with the original Ballet Russe costumes on display.

If you've ever been fortunate enough to travel to Eastern Europe or Russia, at the Firebird you could feel like you were in Prague, relaxing at the elegant, pink puff-pastry that is Cafe Louvre, at Moscow's Cafe Pushkin or at the Gerbeaud Confectionary in Budapest, all in the comfort of NYC.

Sure, in this economy, ridiculously lavish decor might seem a little out of place. Even those who might still be able to realistically live like that on a regular basis are cutting back and living more simply. But just as the Great Depression and World War II propelled the fantasy of Hollywood forward to help the huddled masses keep a little hope for a better future alive, I propose that lavish dining can do the same thing. In fact, it is probably even better than movies because you can get actual sustenance from it - both physically and psychically. Feeling like royalty can do wonders, even if only for a night.

Five interior design blogs to inspire you in 2011

2011-01-04T07:48:54Z

How many of you added sprucing up the home to your 2011 to-do list? Maybe you want to start out with a whole new look, or just add a little something new to your home scene. Even if you don't have the budget or energy to go for an all-out re-design, just a new vase or fresh pillows can change a room and make it seem like new (or new-ish, at the very least). Here are five of our fave design blogs to inspire you.

The Material Girls blog is a great collection of various design styles for inspiration coming from women in five different cities across the U.S. Whether you are looking for a classic rococoish royal family look or modern or rustic, the Material Girls have something you'll like.

Erika Almeida is an Ecuadorian born NYC designer with an amazing eye for great design. She features unusual items with mostly modern inspiration, and with great combinations of industrial and natural features. Love her design style!

Design Sponge has been inspiring people with great, practical design since 2004. Run by Grace Bonney - contributing editor for Domino Mag and Craft Mag as well as "a freelancer with top publications like House and Garden, New York Home, Food and Wine, In Style" and more - Design Sponge has a finger on what's hot not only in home decor but in clothing and accessory design as well.

If you're an apartment dweller and haven't checked out Apartment Therapy, do so at once! This blog is chock full of great ideas for using space wisely and beautifully, because living in a small space doesn't have to equal having crap all over the place. Their goal is "To connect people to the resources they need to improve their homes, while reducing their reliance on stuff." Beautiful.

Chic Tip blog is a great resource for ideas on residential as well as commercial interior design. The focus is on modern and mid-century style, and there are some super cool ideas passed around here. This LED carpet is so funky and amazing...on my "someday" list.

Just for fun, check out the Unhappy Hipsters blog, which makes fun of all the all-too-beautifully-photographed modern home mags...as much as we appreciate the difference beauty makes in our lives, you gotta laugh at it, too:

Making fun of modern design blogs like Dwell, Unhappy Hipsters pairs pretentious photography with hilarious quips like, "They'd never forgive their parents for confining them to that midwestern cornfield--who cares if the horizon so perfectly echoed the multiple rooflines."

Here's to a beautifully designed New Year!

Pre-fall fashion - what is it?

2010-12-08T18:02:53Z

Pre-fall - yesterday I thought that would be summer. Today, I found out that it isn't summer, and it could even be called pre-spring. Pre-fall is the time of year that doesn't really qualify, weather wise, as summer or fall. Or winter. It's not too cold and not too hot, and depending on what part of the country you're in, it could be cold enough for a jacket in the morning and warm enough in the afternoon for a t-shirt.
As much as part of me wants to make fun of it a'la Michael Kors, it's actually brilliant. It's like artful layering made easier, the in-between weather days made more fashionable, and as cold as offices are, pre-fall could be great summer wear for those stuck working in cubicle land.

In Jason Wu's pre-fall collection, it's all lady-like cool weather version of "resort." Beautiful.

What do you think? Is pre-fall laughable or oh so embraceable?

Fashion by Google

2010-11-21T15:22:30Z

You've probably heard about Google's recent foray into fashion, designed to make shopping for clothes online easier and more enjoyable. It offers inspiration from celebrities who are paid to keep "boutiques" there, and like Polyvore, you can see what other fashionistas around the globe are wearing.

On Boutiques.com, you can take a test to determine your personal style, which will help narrow down the search results. You choose between photos of Jennifer Aniston in a classic cream sheath versus Anne Hathaway in an electric blue strapless mini, leather pants with studs versus high waisted tweed trousers, and even a glass of red wine versus a tequila shot. It told me that my style is classic (true) but I added "boho" to the lineup so I would get some funkier and less safe options in my search results.

Once your style is determined, you can refine your results further by specifying silhouettes, colors and patterns for dresses, tops, bottoms and shoes that you love or hate. You also can specify designers that you love or hate. That was the hardest part for me - choosing "hate" on any of it made me feel a little bitchy and I didn't choose hate on any designers...crazy I know but whatevs.

The result of all the quizzing was pretty spot on. My results showed mostly classic styles by designers like Calvin Kleine and Ralph Lauren, but I got some funkier stuff that I could definitely see myself wearing, as well. Some of the stuff they offered didn't match the choices I chose to hate, and as a result I am getting more comfortable with pushing the hate button. For the most part though, I like the results. And there are a lot.

Going through other boutiques is a great way to get inspiration. One of my fave celebrity boutiques is from Claire Danes, who has impeccable classic style. Another great boutique I found via the recommended section is Classic: 9-5 chic by Dina. It's easy to find trendy and popular inspiration, too.

It would be too easy to sit here for hours searching through Boutiques.com - I definitely recommend checking it out.

Pretty scarves!

2010-11-15T07:29:46Z

What's winter without pretty scarves? Even if you find one that goes with everything and you wear that single favorite scarf all winter, there is nothing easier and less expensive to give your cold-weather wardrobe a pop.

Here is a great sampling of gorgeous scarves found by talented Etsy vendors to give you some inspiration:

Pretty and versatile Pomegranate wool/silk shawl by Wrapt

This is a great scarf found on Cricket's Creations - want!

Funky and feminine green lariat scarf by Boutiquebeautiful.

Funky, sparkly and fun mohair scarf by FunkyfeltsbyDee.

Beautiful black scarf with pooch yarn fringe, by TresChicBoutique1.

Cheerful orange knit scarf by davidsknits.

Yet another warning about social media

2010-11-11T19:37:27Z

Stories about personal social media accounts adversely affecting jobs and life in general are becoming cliche. But just when you think you have all the rules down, and trust your Facebook or Twitter privacy settings to adequately protect you from prying eyes, another warning comes along to make you feel violated.

Our formerly-featured woman, Lisa from Life on Purpose, recently wrote a great piece called "Playing Facebook." She has a practical list of do's and don'ts - my favorite being number 5: " Your "friends" are not friends, but consumers of YOUR content. They are your AUDIENCE."

That, for most of us, is the hardest to wrap our heads around. It doesn't matter if you talk to any of your social media friends in person or have known them for years, things said on Facebook or Twitter are taken differently than if the same thing was said face to face or via telephone. Social media platforms are essentially stages, where you can exchange business ideas or promote your business, and where people can judge your product or service accordingly. On a personal level, anything you post is put up for judgment and analysis as well. It doesn't matter if you're just whining because you're sick, or only bragging about how cute your cats are, you're opening yourself up to psychological judgment. It comes down to more than just pics of you on vacation with a margarita and blood-shot eyes. While you might not care if your friends see that, you might look harder at the chance of others seeing it.

The Center for Investigative Reporting writes, in Is your boss spying off the clock, that investigative firms are getting sneaky about mining for personal information on behalf of employers. The old psychological tests given by some employers aren't necessary anymore, thanks to social media. If you're one of those people who has 2,000 "friends," you're especially at risk. Employers, or those acting on behalf of them, have fake accounts especially for getting info about employees. If you aren't picky about who you allow to see your personal announcements, you might end up with more than just a farm neighbor.

It is hard to get used to the 24 hour reunion. It's fun, better than reality TV most of the time, and can be detrimental to your life if you aren't careful. We all dig when 200 people tell us to feel better, but knowing that the simple fact that you need that much attention over a cold is something employers can use against you.

So, be careful. Don't post everything that comes to mind. Wait and think before adding narrative detail to a buddy's vacation pics. Don't treat social media as drunken girls-night out, otherwise, you might end up actually living that dream of being Will Farrell in his underwear as you accept the Oscar.