YoLadies | Family

This is why the phone call can not die

2010-09-05T21:19:31Z

Message me. What does that mean these days? Message me via text, Facebook, email, Twitter, whatevs? Honestly, when someone says that, how do you take it?

It's a term that we all struggle with. A good friend of mine recently sent me a text message letting me know that she vented something on Facebook that made a lot of mutual friends paranoid, and she wanted to assure me that it had nothing to do with me. Since I only use FB for business now (and only connect that way with close friends and family), I didn't see the message, but immediately checked to see what it was that wasn't inspired by anything I did. It was a frustrated message about not getting responses to messages. It made me paranoid, too.

Then I realized that the text message that she sent me was actually written almost 24 hours earlier, but for whatever reason did not come through on my phone right away. "OMG" I thought! Now she's really going to think I'm dissing on her! Gah, what do I do? I haven't meant to not be in touch with anyone lately - I've been busy, there has been a lot of family stuff going on, crazy with work, but I didn't think that I had missed any messages to the point that it would offend anyone. Right?

I sent her an email explaining that I loved her and hoped that she didn't think I was a flake. The next morning, I was even more paranoid, and called to explain further. She laughed and apologized for the confusion - it was one of those things we all do...she simply posted something personal, not necessarily aiming it at anyone in particular, and then watched it get out of hand.

This whole scenario made me think of two things. One, I should stop being pissed at people who don't get back with me right away. Two, I thought of the recent findings that kids and young adults who have grown up with the internet and smart phones don't do phone calls or emails anymore because they're too slow.

I do the same thing - I'll text something because it's so much easier than calling, and doesn't get lost in anyone's inbox. However, after pissing people off when my Crackberry blew up and they didn't notice my Facebook messages alerting everyone to that fact, and then after receiving my friend's message almost a day after she sent it, I'm thinking that maybe I won't rely on texting as much.

Plus, I find myself aghast that my parents and in-laws haven't been keeping up with my FB or Twitter account, and inadvertently pushing my shiz on them. They just don't do that - they are busy doing real life stuff and aren't pathetically online, like I am.

I guess that "message me" can come in many forms, but do those who are important in your life understand what you mean by that? Do you understand what they mean? Is it an email or or a Facebook message?

Ugh...more specific language required.

What do y'all think?

Redefining the word Childish

2010-08-05T14:52:31Z

Yesterday, Ted Talks, taking a summer break from new videos, posted a playlist of talks on "childish thinking." We can all (hopefully) appreciate the thought processes of children, and sometimes we wish to revert back to the unabashed creativity and lack of fear that we had when we were kids, but how many of us actually do it? In fact, I'll bet we're all guilty of saying things like, "what, is she 30 going on 15?" or "when are you going to grow up and stop acting like a child?" We are amused and amazed at the minds of children, but when it comes to letting ourselves learn from them, we tell ourselves that we are adults and know better.

Check out the video playlist on the TedTalks page - you might see childish thinking in a new light. No, not about throwing mashed potatoes across the room or crying over a broken toy, but in the goodness that kids naturally see in the world, and the difference that they want to make.

Especially impressive was the amazing Miss Adora Svitak, a twelve year old author, teacher, poet, and humanitarian, who has the brains and talent to put us adults in our place. In her talk to some of the most brilliant minds around, she says, "The traits the word 'childish' addresses are seen so often in adults that we should abolish this age discriminatory word when it comes to criticizing behavior associated with irresponsibility and irrational thinking."

Wow. I get it, Adora...and promise to try and do better.

Check it out when you have time - Adora's talk is just over eight minutes long. Some of the others are a bit longer but worth it. Let's check our heads and at least give a little credence to what the kids in our lives are saying, before we tell them that they'll understand why their ideas won't work, when they're smart adults like us.

Gardening with children - yippee!

2010-07-21T14:19:16Z

If you're a gardening addict, pass that healthy and fun habit onto the kids in your life. I found some great info online to help kids learn about gardening and garden life at every age - pass on any tips and ideas that you have as well - we'd love to hear them!

KidsGardening.org has a wonderful primer to give parents ideas for gardening with kids aged three plus. The key is not to start out seeing how much horticulture information your little Einstein can cram into her head, but to catch toads and plant watermelon seeds, telling a story about how they will grow. There are several age groups listed with ideas for each one. This site also has wonderful information for teachers, including classroom projects and thematic explorations.

LucyGardens has some fabulous ideas on sensory gardens where children can not only see, but can touch, taste, smell and yes even hear what they grow.

TLC's garden activities for kids section has lots of fun ideas that can be moved indoors, like pressing flowers, growing a cucumber in a jar, and decorating flower pots.

Gardening isn't just a great peace of mind for adults, and while mud pies are an important part of any childhood, just think of the real pies they can make with what they grow. Have fun!

Road Tripping with the Man, Part Dva

2010-07-13T18:59:22Z

Earlier this year, after driving with my husband from Dallas to Fort Davis, Texas, I wrote about how I survived the eight hour drive. Here we are again, except for this drive, we decided to take the scenic route through Waco, Brady, and Ozona. And a thousand tiny farm villages in-between. It took twelve hours.

It was much more scenic, for sure. Hill Country is simply beautiful, and the people are laid-back-fine. We managed to make it to this area of Texas desert during monsoon season, and the normally dry creek is full of water, the mountains are wearing cloud caps, and the dragon flies are mating like bunnies. One amazing byproduct of rain and life in this normally dry and cragled landscape is the local social events. The Southwest attracts a huge variety of people, from hippies to militants to retirees to young web workers. They can certainly throw aside the differences though, when it comes to celebrating nature and life in general.

We'll be taking the eight hour drive back, tomorrow, but if there is anything I've learned from twelve-hours-over-two-days on the road, praying the Honda would make it through standing water, it's this: sometimes it isn't the journey that matters, it's where you're going. Whether it's driving forever or getting delayed at the airport on your way to the next World Cup, peace and beauty can be born out of frustration.

Unemployment affects more than your bank account

2010-06-29T19:35:57Z

For the unemployed or under-employed, there is more to worry about than how rent and utilities will be paid. As if that isn't enough to worry about. On top of the frightening prospect of not having electricity, gas, health insurance, or God-forbid a home, there are worries about networking, keeping skills and knowledge in check, and finding things to do to fill up the eight plus hours a day once spent at work.

Combine that with all of the conflicting news reports on the economy - depending on which day it is, it's either getting better or worse. Jobs are up? Nah, never mind, they're down. Fact is, people are still getting laid off, the housing market is still in the toilet, and the competition is brutal. Top that with a recent report about prescription drug overdoses increasing, use of alcohol increasing, and it's enough to make the most zen person go ballistic.

Even those who are still employed are feeling the stress - it isn't easy to watch co-workers walk out with a brown box, do the work of several people, and to constantly wonder if your job will be there tomorrow, or even at the end of the day.

So how can you survive? We're not going to pretend to have answers. We're going through it here, at YoLadies, too. Some have quit working by choice, some laid off, some crossing their fingers that they will have a job tomorrow. There are some people who are able to look at unemployment as an opportunity, and others who can't. The comments in this article are telling, as to the different attitudes in dealing with having no work.

The initial idea of YoLadies was born out of frustration of working while others were being walked out, increased corporate BS, and the idea that even in this economy (or maybe because of it), now might be a great time to dive in and start a business we love. Although it feels great to put our skills to the test, it is scary to think of getting sick, having a broken car, or savings drying up.

So what about you? How are you feeling unemployment - how are you dealing with it? Do you have advice for anyone else out there?

Reunions and life

2010-06-22T13:37:08Z

It's class reunion time, again. Will you be going?

I've never gone to an official class reunion, because it just seemed to me, in theory anyway, that it would just be about one-upping each other and pretending that the rented Mercedes was your "everyday car," and that kind of BS that none of us like to deal with. From what I heard from the couple of friends who have attended these reunions, it really wasn't like that, but was a strange experience, nonetheless. Facebook sort of gave me a class reunion, anyway, and it works out better because you can actually catch up a bit before being in that awkward position of smiling while trying to figure out why your old friend is so different than they were 10 or 20 years ago.

I recently attended an informal reunion of sorts, seeing a gang of old friends I hung out with for a couple of years in college. Most of them I haven't seen in at least fifteen years, maybe more, and others I saw maybe five years ago. A few of us keep in touch in the way of letting each other know we're still alive, but otherwise, as life tends to do, we've gone in different directions.

It was great in a lot of ways, in that seeing those I was closest to was amazing. It felt like we saw each other last week, and that time had barely passed at all. With the others, though, it's like we had that high school class reunion syndrome, remembering who we all were twenty years ago and expecting nothing to have changed. Catching up on that much time isn't something you can do at a cocktail party, and probably isn't something you want to do with people with whom you haven't bothered keeping in touch.

There were a couple of friends that I was close to where the vibe just wasn't there. I thought about how much fun we used to have together, the jokes we told, the lame grunge clothing we wore, and thought it would feel the same, only that we'd be older and better dressed. I didn't think about the years that came in-between, though, the lives we've led apart from each other, the joys and sorrows and hard work and personal growth that changed something in us in completely different and non-clickable ways. It was still great to see them, but I doubt we'll be in touch again.

So what makes friends either click or not click again, right away, after years of separation? What makes people seem either like soul mates or like mere acquaintances after so much time? Reunions are bittersweet, and I'm pretty sure that this last one convinced me that I've been right to avoid High School reunions. People change planes, and we don't always change to the same one our friends and loved ones are on.

So, will you be attending a reunion this year?

Create a family resort in your own home

2010-06-16T14:50:05Z

Skipping out on going all out on a family vacation this year? Can't get away from work, the economy, or maybe you're staying home because the planned fishing/sand-castle-building trip to the gulf had a wrench thrown in it? Don't let cabin fever get to you - with a little imagination, you can have a fantastic resort experience right in your own home.

The first thing you need to get is fruity drink stuff. One of the coolest things I've seen is watermelon ice-cubes, simply made from watermelon juice - tastes great in just about any fruit juice and is tres pretty. Smoothies, sorbet-floats, fruit juice mixed with ginger-ale - there are a ton of great recipes for kid-friendly fruit drinks online that will take them far away from the boring juice boxes and make them feel like they're in the tropics. On the adult fruit-drink side, I doubt that I need to elaborate on that, unless you've been living under a rock. Your kid's drinks plus rum is all you need.

Second, you need beach supplies. Even if you only have a back garden or a balcony (which can be called a lanai, for vacay-psych-out purposes), you need to be outside, smelling like sun-tan lotion, in your swimsuit or slouchy shorts. Fill up a cooler with bottled water (yes, you must drink this in-between fruit drinks), get your fluffiest chick-lit book, and chill out. The kids can stay busy with badminton or croquet or a board game, while you escape to la-la land. Adding a little reggae or calypso music will heighten this effect.

Dinner - eat something you only eat on vacation! Don't do the norm...cook fish with Caribbean spices or make a pupu platter or something, but stay away from hot dogs and hamburgers, please. Picky kids are exempt from this (but picky grown adults are not).

Lastly, after dinner, break out the holiday lights from last winter and put them up in your trees or on your lanai. Turn them on, crank up the reggae/calypso, make some more fruit drinks, and dance your butt off. Get the whole family in on the hippie-love we're on vacation dance, and shake it like you mean it!

Repeat this ritual as necessary until you feel like the couple from the IKEA mattress commercial:

Teach your kids about charity by helping the Gulf Coast

2010-06-01T16:19:38Z

We are witnessing one of the most tragic of catastrophes ever, as the Gulf Coast becomes more covered in oil. Any of you who have ever been to that part of the country know what I'm talking about - it's not just the beaches and the water, it's the culture. It has always been a totally different world, along the Gulf of Mexico - but until now, it's been a culturally significant and beloved world, full of jazz and zydeco music, crab cakes, gumbo, and a laid back atmosphere you just can't find anywhere else. A lot is at stake here, and a great program from the National Audobon Society, called Pennies for the Planet helps teach kids not only about environmental concerns, but about the joys of charity.

There is great information for educators and parents on their site, fun ideas for kids, and ways that you can get involved. A lot of classrooms participate in this program, but you can participate as a family, as well. Check it out, and request free materials to get started!

Happy Birthday Birth Control Pill...Hello Sexual Freedom!

2010-05-11T03:10:54Z

The Birth Control Pill celebrates 50 years of existence! Birth Control has shaped women's lives as it has given them control to shape their futures. Women all over the world have been able to use this wonderful invention to plan families, careers, and their education. The creation of Birth Control has given women the liberty to have fun but, also to be in control of their bodies. For the first time in history upon its release in 1960, women have experienced sexual freedom without the repercussions of an unwanted pregnancy.

Keep your friends closer

2010-05-09T16:38:04Z

It's been a sad couple of days, after the death of an old friend. It's been five years or so since I'd seen her, but the pain is the same as if it would have happened when we first met.

Although I grieve for her family and her young son, for her friends who witnessed the car wreck that killed her, and for everyone else whose lives she touched, I am once again reminded that grief ends up being a selfish emotion, and I grieve for myself. It hurts that I have regrets, that I wish that I would have been a better and more generous friend, and that I didn't facilitate a deeper connection than what we ended up with. Growing apart is natural, especially in these days where family and friends are scattered apart. Reminding yourself occasionally about how important those people are, though - that's something that we all probably need to do more often.

The death of a loved one is a real slap in the face to those of us left behind, a reminder to speak and think love as much as possible. Who else have I not told that I loved them, recently? They're all going through the same thing...not sure if it is the second or fourth stage of grief, but either way, life is precious.

On the web page set up in my friend's memory, another friend of hers wrote something so beautiful - and gave me a better way to see this situation in a happy, shining, non-selfish way, just the way my friend was:

"May God grant you a dance floor in heaven and dress you up like an Angel with Glitter Wings."

Happy Mother's Day, lady-friend. Shake it up for me on your plush, shiny cloud.

Earth Day for kids

2010-04-19T13:21:49Z

Want to find a way to teach the kids about Earth Day and about how to care for our planet? We found a ton of great ideas to help you out. A lot of the crafts are the same ones that we all made as children - using paper rolls and egg cartons to create cool creatures.

Make a windsock: Here is an adorable windsock made from a coffee can and fabric scraps. It would be super easy and fun for kids of all ages, and what a fun way to brighten up your home Earth Day decor! Go to Preschool Rock for more info.

Dry some Flowers: Who knew that you could re-use the silica packets from shoe boxes? Well you can, to dry flowers! Check out this great project from Planet Pals to find out how.

Make stuff from dryer lint! We're just dying to find out how this works - how cool to be able to re-use all of that dryer lint! Please, if anyone tries it out, post here how well it works and what you did with it!

Planet Pals had one of the best lists of Earth Day crafts for kids, Bloesm Kids is a gorgeous site with some amazing craft ideas, and Preschool Rock has some wonderful ideas for younger children. Have fun with your kids and teach them about loving the earth at the same time!

Friends-slash-co-workers...how often does it really work?

2010-04-15T16:33:03Z

Unless you work part-time, chances are you spend more time with co-workers each day than you do with your family and non-work friends. You build relationships, do lunch and happy hour, take breaks at the receptionist's desk and catch up on gossip and the latest episode of Lost. You build connections and many times, make friends.

We've all received advice or read articles telling us to keep our work relationships professional and separate from the rest of our lives, but more and more, there is also a realization that we having friends at work can make us not only happier but better workers.

So which is it?

Two of my best friends are women who I met at the workplace - in fact, they both write for YoLadies.com! A lot of beloved former co-workers brighten my day by posting on Facebook, and many of my husband's friends were formed out of working relationships. I think we would all agree that unless you're a stick-in-the-mud, making friends at work is natural and even necessary, and they can enhance your non-work life tremendously.

Then there are horror stories about work friendships gone wrong - you know, someone gets a promotion and their friends-turned-employees get jealous and have a hard time making the adjustment, or the old gossip mill rears its ugly head, and rumors turn "friends" into enemies. In my own recent experience with huge corporations and the bad economy - where layoffs are rampant and scary - self-preservation and Steve Jobs wannabes who create wars between teams drive relationships (and companies) into the gutter. There seems to be a real difference in making friends at a small company versus a large corporate type company.

Now that almost everyone is on Facebook and friending people left and right, there is even more to worry about when it comes to workplace relationships. I recently went through my personal Facebook account and deleted several co-workers, most of whom are probably great people, but then that word, probably, is the key. I didn't really know them, didn't have a lot in common, and was letting them in on my personal life anyway. Two of them were actually terrible trouble-makers and I shouldn't have friend-faced them to begin with, but how do you friend some co-workers and not others, and maintain a peaceful relationship at work?

While making friends at work is natural and many times good, it's a gamble no matter which way it goes. The word friend isn't what it used to be, the workplace isn't what it used to be, and so it seems like we have to make up new rules for the people we connect with from work.

How do you handle friendships in the workplace?

Recipe: Cajun Chicken & Sausage Gumbo by Jenny

2010-03-31T22:47:28Z

Something that can really bring family and friends together is sitting down to a delicious, hot dinner. Gumbo is perfect to fill empty stomachs and put smiles on everyone's faces. I thought I'd share with you my personal recipe for chicken and sausage gumbo for many reasons. First of all, everyone that eats it just loves it! I enjoy making it too, because everyone sits around the kitchen listening to music, talking, drinking a beer and basically salivating for the bowl of gumbo that's sure to come. We have a good time (laissez les bon temps roulez), and that's what it is all about!

Bowl of Jenny's gumbo

This recipe takes practice, so don't feel bad if the first batch isn't right. I can tell you, my first try at gumbo had burnt roux floating in it, and it pretty much tasted like seawater! It is also great to have someone help you - my husband always helps me, and I'm not sure I could make it as good without him!

I wrote these instructions based on exactly what I do when making gumbo, so hopefully this works well for you. I never used a written recipe to make gumbo, and it took me about 9 years to get it to where it is now. Some of the techniques I use are passed along from old friends and some of the best techniques I use come from my mom (Thanks Mom, for advising me to put the onions into the roux, and to use the chicken broth instead of fresh water!).

Ok, without further ado, here is the recipe:

This is the kind of gumbo you find in the southern-most parts of Louisiana because of its thick broth and deep, rich, spicy flavor.

Serves 8-10 people

Ingredients:

2 cups flour
1 cup vegetable oil
1 large white onion, chopped
2 pounds of sausage sliced into bite size pieces (Eckrich Skinless is my favorite to use, homemade or local smoked sausage works great too)
1 package of 'whole chicken cut up' (has bones) - throw away any innards, remove skin and fat, rinse with water
3 cans of Trappey's Creole Okra Gumbo, drained (if not available, substitute with any canned okra)
½ Tbsp Cayenne Pepper
1 Tsp Salt
½ Tsp Pepper
¼ Tsp Garlic powder (optional)
¼ Tsp Lemon Pepper (optional)
1 bunch of scallions (green onions), chopped
Box of Saltine Crackers (to serve with gumbo)
Tabasco (to serve with gumbo)
6 - 8 Servings of rice (cook to package directions; to serve with gumbo)

Directions:

Cook the rice to package directions. You will need a large stew pot in order to cook the gumbo. Fill the pot with just enough water to cover the chicken, about a little more than 1 gallon (too much water upfront will make a watery end product - you can always add water later if needed). Boil the water over high heat and place chicken into pot. Continue to boil and stir occasionally to keep chicken evenly cooked.

Homemade roux is difficult to make, and can take practice to get it just to your liking. If you burn the roux (see black/burnt spots in mixture), you will need to start over. For this recipe, we are aiming for a dark, thick roux. It should have a dark brown color and consistency of no-bean can chili by the end of cooking.

DOWNLOAD: Jennys_Cajun_Gumbo.pdf

While the chicken is cooking, begin to heat up ¾ cup of the vegetable oil in a large skillet over medium-low heat. Once oil is heated, test it by dropping a pinch of flour into the oil to ensure it is not too hot. You want a very light sizzle upon contact. Adjust heat as necessary, and when ready, add 1 cup of flour. The entire cooking time for roux can take 35 minutes. You must stir constantly the entire time to prevent the roux from burning using a wooden paddle or spatula (rubber spatulas may melt if used). During the first 10-15 minutes, slowly add the leftover flour to grow and thicken the mixture and keep it congealed by slowly adding the remaining oil. The roux will slowly change from light brown and will steadily get darker and thicker.

When you are about 5 minutes away from the roux being done (it's just about the right color and texture), add in the chopped white onions, stirring constantly for 5 minutes. Remove the roux pan from heat and continue to stir for 1-2 minutes until it is cool enough to not burn sitting in the pan. Set aside on unused burner. Lower the heat on the pot with the chicken to a soft boil. Add the roux directly into the pot with the water and chicken and continue to stir. Bring pot to a moderate boil and stir until roux is completely dissolved into the water.

Roux after 15 minutes of cooking

Roux after 25 minutes of cooking

Roux after 30 minutes (time to add the onions)

Roux during the last 5 minutes of cooking

Next, add the sausage and okra into the pot. Maintain a light to moderate boil for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

I love Trappey's brand!

Set heat to low and allow gumbo to sit without bubbling for a few minutes. As the gumbo sits, any excess oil/fat will float to the top and create a layer. Using a spoon, skim excess oil off the top and discard of the oil properly (you should be able to skim about a cup's worth). Taste the broth by getting a sample with a spoon (Be careful - it will be extremely hot, no joke!). Stir in the seasonings (salt, pepper, cayenne, garlic powder, lemon pepper). Add water and/or seasonings if desired until gumbo flavor and consistency is to your liking.

Remove all of the chicken using tongs and shred meat into bite size pieces (by now it should be cooked thoroughly and falling off the bone). Throw away the bones. Toss the chicken back into the pot and stir. Turn the heat off the gumbo pot.

When ready to serve, throw the scallions into the pot and stir. You want them added at the very end so they are bright green and fresh. Put some rice into serving bowls and using a ladle, pour gumbo over rice (make sure to get chicken from the bottom because it sinks). Serve with Tabasco and crackers.

Any leftover gumbo can be frozen or refrigerated (refrigerate rice separately). In my experience, the gumbo gets even tastier after spending a day in the fridge and reheated for leftovers.

ENJOY!

Aunties - what would you do without us?

2010-03-18T15:59:05Z

I've been an Auntie for more than seventeen years, officially to two nephews and one niece, and unofficially to all my friends little ones. I'm the one who, outside on the patio after a dinner party, is chasing the giggle-boxes and tickling them and laughing out loud at their nonsensical jokes, brushing off the apologies of my friends who think that the kids are forcing me into it. No, don't apologize for or admonish the kids - I'm the one who is egging them on, playing with their toys, listening to stories I probably told my Aunties when I was their age. It's my fault - I take full responsibility.

Ever since I saw Rosalind Russell's "Auntie Mame," in middle school, I wanted to be an Auntie. Mame was love and fun and kookiness all rolled into one fabulous, hot mess of a woman, and she showed that you didn't have to give birth to be a loving provider to children. You don't have to be a stereotypical wallflowerish school marm, a sad example of infertility, or one who has to explain her choices in life. In this day and age, more and more women are bucking the Old Maid Auntie crap and walking all over it, savoring the chances to spend time with the children they love while having a full life, when the kids aren't around.

Melanie Notkin, Founder of Savvy Auntie, has created a wonderful place for proud Aunties to share stories, gift and game ideas, and to be a part of a community of other Aunties just like themselves. CNN featured a story from Oprah.com's Tish Durkin, Aunt misbehavin' is part of the job, also celebrating the lives of Aunties. She states in her article:

"As a maiden aunt to eight nieces and seven nephews, ranging in age from 2 to 22, I am not to be pitied. I am to be worshiped."

Aunties are coming out, everywhere, and sharing their pride and love for the children in their lives, and celebrating the joy of watching their beloved nieces and nephews grow into fine human beings. They're also celebrating their own lifestyles, which probably add to the ability to be a worship-worthy Auntie.

I have so many great memories of hanging out with "my kids" - like taking one nephew out for decaf mochas once a week, dressing up in old, light and fluffy "fairy dresses" with my niece while sitting in the grass and sipping 7-Up out of champagne glasses, convincing my youngest nephew that he's just like Dash Incredible - he even calls himself Dash, now.

I also have one of the best Aunties in the world - a Mommy to my cousins who also has that Auntie magic of speaking to me in French or Spanish, enlightening me with her travel stories and her graceful ballsiness. Aunties rock.

Cheers dahling! Tell us about your fab Aunties or about how you yourself are an Auntie to be reckoned with!

Road-tripping with the man

2010-03-07T15:55:02Z

There was a time when shouting out "Road Trip!" was one of the most joyous things you could do. It usually meant packing up with your friends, a case of beer, box of wine, and cheap camping foods. The world is wide-open before you, pure freedom and joy, celebrating youth and truck-stops and peeing in the woods. Then, something happens in the aging process and it becomes a marriage/partnership thing, and instead of being about flying down the highway blasting music and laughing at stupid jokes, it becomes a treacherous back-and-forth of driving commands and audible sighs.

I figured out the secret though - I just drove eight of the most beautiful hours (minus the Midland-Odessa part, but that's another story for the Environment section) with my husband. Once we got out of the DFW area, I haven't experienced a road trip like this that wasn't by myself - I'll let y'all in on it.

Here is what you do - the night before you leave, tell him this: "Honey, since we have to leave SO early in the morning, and you like staying up late playing video games anyway, why don't you just stay up all night? Then you can help me wake up early and I'll just drive the whole way while you sleep!"

It works. Except for an occasional waking moment of "What?! What are you doing?", there was nothing except me, Blind Melon, wind farms, cotton fields, road signs telling me how much further I had to go, and a sleeping man. No degrading comments about women drivers, no shouting-back-at-him with "I swear I'll never drive anywhere with you again! You suck!"

Okay, so maybe I did have to wake him up to help me remember how to get down the oh-so-confusing country roads to his parents' house, but by that time, he couldn't pound the "me man, me drive good" at me anymore. It feels good to love the man after a long trip, again.