Mommy Brain

I used to have the best memory. Name an event and I'll tell you who was there, what we were all wearing and what we ate for dinner. I liked details, they seemed important and tied me to things. But something has happened to that great memory... its gone and I can't find it. No matter how hard I try to dig up some mundane fact, like where did I put my cell phone last, I can't remember. I've even tried the old people pills, Ginko Bilboa. I had to buy a pill dispenser just to remember to take them daily (had I already taken one, can't remember that either!) to no avail.

There is a cause for this recent memory loss, a condition I refer to as Mommy Brain. You see, my spongy brain is now so occupied with soaking up incoming data, analyzing, sorting and storing it, that it has no capacity for trivial things like keeping track of WHERE THE HELL I PUT MY CAR KEYS! Sorry to yell, but I'm understandably upset. You see, I used to be a smart successful woman. I used to be able to string a sentence together without stopping to think of.... what's that word... oh, you know what I mean. I'm not saying women get dumb after they have kids, but we sound like it sometimes. I tell people, "I used to be smart, really, I did!" But I don't they believe me.

There are things that other women never tell you about Motherhood and it starts with labor. "You mean, they are going to take scissors and cut my vagina, just in case it might tear later?!" It's a sisterhood of Mothers and their little dirty secrets. And Mommy Brain is one nobody talks about, because it makes us look dumb. Nobody bothers to tell you will leave the milk on the counter all day, the car door open in the driveway all night or arrive at a store with absolutely no memory of what you are there for. But the truth of the matter is, our brains are so incredibly busy doing other things involving all these little people and activities that weren't in our lives before, that every day simple things, like what day of the week it is, the name of our best friend, and those frickin' car keys, slip through the cracks.

I remember once shortly after my second son was born, we had planned a family outing. Leaving the house, Yea! Sounds so simple now. I remember running around, packing a diaper bag, an extra change of clothes for the baby, extra diapers, oops... where is that blanket? My 3 year old would need some books to entertain him on the drive, and a snack too since we were having a late lunch. Darn, all the sipping cups are dirty! By the time I got to the garage my husband had buckeled them all in, started the car and backed out of the driveway. I lugged all the stuff in the car and he looked annoyed saying "We've been waiting for you". Really? My response was something like "I haven't even brushed my teeth, there is spit up from YESTERDAY on my shirt, I never got a chance to even eat breakfast AND I have to pee.... and you were waiting on me?" All HE had to do that day was take care of HIMSELF and buckle two kids in the car. As the Mom I had to take care of everyone else. I had to remember tiny little mundane things for tiny little people who couldn't remember on their own. The list of things these kids needed just to leave the house, and later on go to T-Ball or school was endless. And so things in my life, like my keys, began to get forgotten.

My Mother claims no such thing as Mommy Brain existed when she was raising us kids. Hmmm, Really? My Mother constantly lost her keys and wallet. She particularly liked to leave them on the top of the gas pumps in rural areas. The most annoying thing she would lose was her car. In a big parking lot, she always lost it. I remember her picking me up from the mall once and she said "I'll start looking this way, and you go that way". "Are you seriously saying you don't even know which DIRECTION it's in" I remember my smart alec teenage voice saying. Truth was, she had no idea! The first time I lost my car in a mall, I wasn't even on the right parking level. The first thing I remember when I found my car was the tone in my voice 17 years earlier.

Maybe Mommy Brain is just an excuse to be lazy and not have to remember and juggle 12 million things at once any more. But I don't think so. I REALLY do want to remember where I put my keys!