Finding My Inner GaGa by Shelli, the Army wife

"Equality is the prime rib of America. - Lady GaGa."

I like prime rib and I was looking for dinner ideas. That's the headline quote that caught my attention. Well really, it was that quote coupled with the fact that I identify her as the "chick" artist to whom my son listens. And, I very much wish I had been brave enough to look like her for at least one summer during my high school years. It certainly works for her now. I noticed. And more than noticing, I reflected. Whatever happened to that emboldened courage I embraced in high school? Surely I still have it, an inner GaGa, despite the conservative exterior my adult life projects.

I used to have bright orange hair, listen to The Smiths and dress like a backup singer for Cyndi Lauper. Now, I am an Army wife to a brave man serving on the front line with the illustrious 502nd Parachute Infantry Regiment of the 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault). Just think of the HBO series Band of Brothers or the movies Black Hawk Down and Hurt Locker. That's our adult reality. That's my husband's workplace environment. This Army life I have cultivated, is just about as far away from my high school visions of adulthood as I now know Kandahar, Afghanistan to be from my hometown of Sand Springs, Oklahoma. It's miles and miles away, for sure. But as different as this life has turned out to be from my aspirations and expectations; I have found myself even more pleasantly surprised by the cultural diversity and inclusiveness of the military communities in which we have lived. I guess that's one of the big reasons I struggle to understand the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy that still governs our military personnel. You can visit almost any military installation and find a melting pot so big and diverse it could surely serve a stew-like concoction to rival some the stereotypes often associated with our military culture. And, although I like gumbo, I prefer prime rib, as do a growing number of Americans who support the repeal of this 17 year old policy. Yesterday, Vermont's first female governor, Madeleine Kunin, said, in an online article published by the Huffington Post, "57% of Americans believe that gays and lesbians should be allowed to serve openly in the military." The New Zealand Herald revealed, as have many other major news outlets, "Top Pentagon leaders, including Secretary of Defense Robert Gates and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Admiral Mike Mullen, have said they support a repeal but want to move slowly to ensure changes won't hurt morale." It's about time to repeal that monstrosity of discrimination! Don't you think?

Critics of the repeal argue that any change in this policy during a time of war would undermine troop morale. Really? Well, in an attempt to be true to my inner GaGa and true to my role as an Army wife, let me just share with you the view as it is seen from behind the man on that distant Afghan front line. And, if it helps, you can imagine me with that bright orange hair wearing some truly GaGa lobster shoes. Honestly, I could care less that the guy on the front line is a pole smoker. Can he shoot? Does he want to sleep outside, eat packaged dehydrated meals, and maybe take a cold shower once a week? Yes? Let him serve. It makes absolutely no difference to me that this female Black Hawk gunner I know likes to eat at the Y. Can she shoot? Does she want to sit in an open window while flying 125 feet off the ground at speeds near 150 mph, eat some more of those packaged dehydrated meals, and sometimes share her ride with body bags? Yes? Let her serve. As my husband goes about his business as a soldier, I want his battle buddies to be professional, trained men and women that burn with desire for prime rib both at home and abroad. On the battlefield, sexual preference plays no part in providing that life saving covering fire. Sexual preference has no bearing on whether or not necessary supplies are delivered, or in determining who gets medical treatment, or in how a translator interprets the Pushtun words of a village elder. And if it does make a difference to someone, that's not the professional, trained person I want standing shoulder to shoulder with my man or your sister, brother, mother, father, or cousin. In a time when our military has been stretched thin on two fronts and is active in many countries, the last thing we should be doing is kicking out trained professionals who are willing to serve simply because of their sexual preference. It is a fact that everyone currently in our armed services, everyone from the administrative clerks to to the front lines, volunteered to do a job. For me, and a growing number of Americans, military service has much, much more to do with desire and ability than what goes on between the sheets in private. For now, I'll eat the gumbo that is served up and seasoned by our current policy. But, I'm hungry for a good meal and I'm really looking forward to seeing more prime rib on the menu.

I say, "Find your inner GaGa!" Support for the repeal can be shown by writing letters to your representative politicians, phone calls, and monetary gifts to a variety of organizations. Some of the notable people and organizations taking on the fight for gay and lesbian rights in the military are: Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN), Servicemembers United, GetEqual, OutServe, and of course, Lady GaGa.