Defining Beauty: Whose Standard Is This, Anyway?

Thanks to Laura Fenamore for sharing this article with us! Please visit her at OnePinky.com


by Laura Fenamore

America is fascinated with celebrity bodies - how Kourtney Kardashian got back her pre-baby body, what Julia Roberts eats for breakfast, Kirstie Alley's weight fluctuation. One of the goals in my coaching practice is to show women that it is "possible to love who and what they see in the mirror".

But my students and I are up against some deeply ingrained, unrealistic standards of beauty.

A Week in the Media: Pasta, Hips, Weddings

Media attention to all things celebrity related feeds, or perhaps even has created, this fascination. Here's just a sampling of the recent play celebrity body image has gotten in print . . .

A recent article points to celebrity eating habits as depicted in the media. Interviews in fashion and lifestyle magazines make a point of demonstrating how much and decadently female celebrities eat. The author suggests that the chronicling of what Cate Blanchett and Minka Kelly wolf down is backlash against the perception that women such as these starve themselves to maintain their figures.

And yet the fact that celebrities have to defend their eating habits says a lot about how celebrities often (or least how they are perceived to) behave.

Before that came an article enumerating all the faults celebrities found with their bodies. It is oddly comforting to know that even these seemingly perfect women have body image issues like the rest of us. But at the same time, if Jennifer Aniston thinks her butt is big and Jessica Alba doesn't like her hips, it kind of makes me us all want to throw in the towel. It seems that they are just perpetuating the myth that women can never be happy with their bodies.

And of course, in line at the grocery store just this past weekend, US Weekly informs me that Jessica Simpson is on a strict diet so she can look good for her wedding! I mean, these messages are everywhere. Being thin will make us as happy and desirable as these women are. Are we supposed to believe that? They think so.

Beautiful Size 12

There are some women bucking the trend all together. The gorgeous Crystal Renn, after recovering from anorexia, has graced many fashion spreads as a "plus-size model." Yet these women, who have more in common with the average woman than "regular" models, are the exception to the rule, as their qualified title indicates.

Then there's the case of Raven-Symone, star of "That's So Raven" (and those of us who didn't watch Nickelodeon may remember her as the youngest Cosby on "The Cosby Show"). In an interview with People magazine, full-figured Raven said she responds to critics of her weight, "I'm healthy, I exercise, I believe in myself, and I think I'm beautiful." However, Raven again is the exception to the rule; far more often, fashion and celebrity magazines boast stories of women who lose weight to become beautiful.

Healthy, Not Skinny

Don't get me wrong -releasing unhealthy weight is vital for health; after all, America is also facing an obesity epidemic. I myself used to weigh 100 pounds more than I do now, a weight which was extremely detrimental to my health. But what inspired me to release weight was wanting to be healthy, not wanting to conform to a standard of beauty society had for me. Healthy comes in a whole variety of sizes - ask a doctor for guidance if you're not sure what your healthy weight range is.

And in the process of shedding 100 pounds, I learned the crucial lesson that I had to and could love myself no matter what the size. I have a serious problem with the propagation of the myth that skinny equals happy.

Recently, Ms. Renn did lose some weight, which again garnered much media attention. Her response hit the nail on the head:

"I feel pressure - probably more from any other place - probably from the public and the media . . . I had anorexia ultimately because someone else set the standard for me and I wanted to follow it. And if I followed what the public wanted from me or what the media wants from me, I'd be doing the same thing. I'd have a binge eating disorder. I think the most important thing that we all need to know, whether you're a model, a normal person walking around, you're an editor, you're a photographer, you're anybody out in the world - it's about individual health. You cannot tell if someone is healthy, where they are mentally, from the outside, because health is different for everybody at different sizes."

Preach it, sister.

What do YOU think?


Originally published at OnePinky.com