It's been a sad couple of days, after the death of an old friend. It's been five years or so since I'd seen her, but the pain is the same as if it would have happened when we first met.
Although I grieve for her family and her young son, for her friends who witnessed the car wreck that killed her, and for everyone else whose lives she touched, I am once again reminded that grief ends up being a selfish emotion, and I grieve for myself. It hurts that I have regrets, that I wish that I would have been a better and more generous friend, and that I didn't facilitate a deeper connection than what we ended up with. Growing apart is natural, especially in these days where family and friends are scattered apart. Reminding yourself occasionally about how important those people are, though - that's something that we all probably need to do more often.
The death of a loved one is a real slap in the face to those of us left behind, a reminder to speak and think love as much as possible. Who else have I not told that I loved them, recently? They're all going through the same thing...not sure if it is the second or fourth stage of grief, but either way, life is precious.
On the web page set up in my friend's memory, another friend of hers wrote something so beautiful - and gave me a better way to see this situation in a happy, shining, non-selfish way, just the way my friend was:
"May God grant you a dance floor in heaven and dress you up like an Angel with Glitter Wings."
Happy Mother's Day, lady-friend. Shake it up for me on your plush, shiny cloud.
Great article! I love you Kimmie! Let's dance!
Thanks Yvette - I love you too! Let's boogie on down, sista!
Well said!