You will love this movie...or else!

During a conversation with an acquaintance, I happened to mention that I really did not like Quentin Tarantino's movie, "Inglorious Basterds. The look I received in reply made me check for a piece of lettuce stuck in my front teeth, an errant tenant in one of my nostrils or a giant freakin' horn growing out of the middle of my forehead. Sweet Mary and Joseph, since when did it become a social faux-pas to say "Hey, that movie that people are getting all moist about really isn't very good"?

I didn't like "Inglorious Basterds" because it failed in the promise to deliver Nazi killin' by the truckload, thought "The Hurt Locker" was painfully lacking in any kind of story or character that I gave two figs about, was lost in sleep halfway through "Lost in Translation" and had nothing but intense loathing for "Dr. Strangelove." And you know what? I'm tired of pretending I didn't like these movies that the world seemed to insist that I fall all over myself raving about. I'm not stupid or uncultured or shallow. What I am is secure and confident enough to say I think "The English Patient" was agonizingly boring and depressing, "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou" decidedly unfunny, and Gran Torino" was filled with leaden acting and ridiculous stereotypes.

Don't get me wrong, there are lots of "critically acclaimed" movies out there that I love. But the next person that treats me like some kind of social half-wit because I don't fall all over myself raving about how the latest critic favorite is the be-all and end-all in movie making is going to get both barrels.

Now excuse me while I make a big bowl of popcorn and throw my well-worn copy of "A Night at the Roxbury" into the player and lose myself for a couple of hours.